We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
