How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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