I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This baby is an asshole
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
