Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize