I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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