Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she woke up with a sticky ear
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
