i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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