What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
