i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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