This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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