Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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