Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
