I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize