I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
