Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
