Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
