Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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