I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
