Heybabeimwearingurpanties
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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