His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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