my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
