It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I think a kid would responsible me up
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
