We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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