So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
