he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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