i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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