Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
