Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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