Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
