He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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