i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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