Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't deserve a penis
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
