I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
