I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
