omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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