I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
