Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
