She said her name was "party"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
