don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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