i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
