Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
