this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
