We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
