its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
