I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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