Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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