i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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