All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
