you're like a bully in the Christmas story
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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