i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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