I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
