i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
