Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
