is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
