your parents love me but you hate me
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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