Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize