Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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