no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
