Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
foreskin is a definite game changer
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
